The SinfulSaint’s Diary

After, uh, more than two years… i’m just posting something to make sure they don’t disable this….

My hubby would kill me for doing this. But heck, he wouldn’t know anyway. He would only browse the Web for two reasons: access his email (because he’s sending or expecting a work-related file) or check on what’s new at WWE.com. The only time he was able to read my blogposts was when he spent hours in front of the computer here in my office during our Department’s 2006 Christmas Party; he didn’t even get to read all my posts.

Hmmm… I haven’t posted anything for quite a while. But somehow, I feel like I need to post something. But what?…

On the way to the office this morning, i saw this guy crossing Ayala Blvd, along Gil Puyat Avenue, towards Makati Post Office. He is tall, dark, "skinny". He is wearing a short-sleeved polo, khaki pants that’s a little loose. He walks fast, maybe because he is crossing the street. He reminded me of Elson.

Maybe one good thing about being stuck with Elson for the longest time now is that we’ve seen each other grow tall, grow wide (ay, ako lang pala!), grow up… no reason for us to be pretentious, try hard to put our best foot forward all the time. Because, hey, he has known me when my hair wasn’t straight, when i wore braces… he has seen my just-woke-up-look, how i look like when my asthma attacks…  he has seen my failures and triumphs… he knows my joys and pains. He has seen me at my best and my worst.

And i’ve seen him too. He often kids about me knowing what he’s thinking, which I find surprising sometimes. Because I actually do. (Or maybe we now have this "connection" that I’m starting to think the way he does.)

Anyway, I just remembered him when he was working at Makati as an employee right after he passed the Board exams, a little after we got married. It was a good thing that the company gave its employees uniform; otherwise, you’d see Elson just "recycling" his wardrobe. We didn’t have a car yet so we had to commute. Whenever I was on field assignment in Makati, we’ll meet at the corner of Ayala and Herrera (in front of Rufino towers) and go home together. That guy that I saw this morning was somehow like Elson during our early years together.

And reminiscing made me smile… and a little into tears. Because where Elson had been and where he is now humbles me, and makes me proud at the same time… well, proud of him, to be exact.

He dreams and makes sure he works hard enough to reach ‘em. He is confident but you’ll know he is "human" with the way he worries. When he is disappointed, he cries. When he is in pain, he prays. When he is happy, he treats his whole family to a pizza (hehehe!!… or just me to a Thai or seafood restaurant). When one of our kids is sick, he takes time out to assist me… actually, he does the worrying, I do all else.

When we were in college, he took this part-time job at Jollibee and Smokey’s… while he continued his schooling. During his last two years, he worked as an apprentice in an architectural firm. A few more years of work after graduation then he took his Archi Board in January 1996… before we got married in October that same year, he is already a full-fledged Architect.

He worked for two years for a realty development firm in Makati… in 1998, he got his very first design and construction project: a 2-storey residential renovation in Paranaque. About the same time, we started preparing for his putting up his own office. He was able to buy his first sasakyan: an owner-type jeep na malakas sa gasolina. By February 1999, he’s on his own. Ang office nya sa bahay. Isa lang ang drawing table.

I won’t list down anymore what he has now.

When we were in first year high school, he wrote on my authograph book (hehe!): Ambition — Architect. Ako, hanggang ngayon, gusto ko pa rin maging teacher pero hindi pa rin nagiging teacher. I dunno if he actually has a career plan, with timetable and targets and all, HE SIMPLY KNOWS WHERE HE WANTED TO GO, AND HOW TO GET THERE. He wanted to become the CAT Corps Commander of our Batch — well, he was. Maybe at some point he wanted to become a PBA player, but then again, uhh… maybe he just loved the game hehehe!!!

I don’t want to further raise his chair up… and my blogpost is a total wreck coz I can’t get my thoughts organized. But I just want to say one last thing.

I have to admit that during bad moods and tensive moments between us, until now, my "vision" fools me into seeing Elson as someone who’s soooo ambitious, inconsiderate, cold and selfish… manipulative, egoistic, proud… lahat na. More dangerous than alcohol or drugs, bursts of ANGER twists your brain, erases your memory, drives you into splurging into past pains… often, makes you say thing you don’t mean… makes you decide on impulse… well, i’m like that and he is too when we fight over the most petty of things: kids’ assignment, CDs in the car, sa ulam, TV programs… kahit ano. And moments like these makes me want to kill him hehehe!!…

We have sooooo many personality differences, if not all. Fire and Ice. Cookies and Cream. Push and Pull. Sweet and Sour. Hot and Cold. Fast and Slow. Could’ve-Been-Better and Could’ve-Been-Worse. Player and Spectator. Day and Night. Leader and Follower. Thinker and Doer. Sinner and Saint. But you see, if God had given me someone who is like me, I would be dead by now, literally or otherwise. But maybe I did something really "holy" during my previous life hehehe… for God to give Elson to me as my husband. He may not be the kind that i really wanted, but he is definitely what I needed.

Our family have our own version of MYMP at home.

Faye went up a notch in her class’ Top 10 for the Second Quarter.

Miguel, according to his teachers, have improved his behavior in class, and is now in Row 3 :))

When i was pregnant with Angelique, I cravd for Milky Way Chocolate Bars… and despised the smell of Pantene Shampoo (newly-launched during those days), and "Too Many Walls" by Cathy Dennis…

With Miguel, I was always looking for Shakey’s Mojo Potatoes to eat; with Chino, McDonald’s McChicken Sandwich (yummmeh!)…

With Abby, i craved for Fuji apples, and despised the song "Everytime" by Britney Spears and "The Reason" by Hoobastank.

Now… I always want to eat Pizza Hut’s Thin Crust Bacon Supreme Pizza… and nauseous at the smell of Palmolive Shampoo and/or Conditioner (any variant), and the "smell" (i swear it has smell!!) of the breeze from the electric fan…

huh?! say that again?! 

Any idea what will be my next baby’s name?….

(from http://www.greatdreams.com/archangels.htm)

 

Angels were created as messengers of God.
The Scriptures reveal that God created nine orders of angels: Seraphim, Cherubim, Thrones, Dominations, Principalities, Powers, Virtues, Archangels, and Angels. Out of this order come the familiar seven Archangels which include Michael, Gabriel, Raphael, Uriel, Raguel, Sariel, and the fallen Lucifer.

The Eighth Choir - The Archangels, The seven angels that stood before God in Revelations are considered to be the Archangels. Although it is agreed that there were seven Archangels, there has been some debate on who the seven were. Most accounts name, Michael, Gabriel, Raphael, Uriel, the remaining three are generally chosen from Metatron, Remiel, Sariel, Anael, Raguel and Raziel. The Archangels were the divine messengers between the humans and God. Of the nine choirs the Archangels are probably best known to us. They are the battlers of the Sons of Darkness.

Lucifer, whose ambitions were a distortion of God’s plan, is known to us through the various religious teachings as the fallen angel, with the use of many names, among which are Satan, Belial, Beelzebub and the Devil. Because of the variety of teachings, we have come to ‘untruth’ when it comes to this most beautiful of angels whose name means ‘ Light’ .

Among the angels, there are those who stand out above the rest. Most people could name at least one or two archangels off the top of their heads; most probably Michael or Gabriel. However, there are according to most sources, at least seven of these divine beings who rule over the rest of the Host and act as the honored for God’s most important missions. Pseudo-Dionysis, who was responsible for the previously listed hierarchy lists the following angels at the highest: Michael, Gabriel, Raphael, Uriel, Chamuel, Jophiel and Zadkiel. Still, other listings give mention to Raguel, Remiel, Sariel, and Raziel among others. Regardless of which, Michael, Gabriel, Raphael and Uriel are almost always given the post.

Michael is credited with most of the major miraculous events in the Bible by some authorities, whereas others place many of the same events upon the shoulders of lesser known angelic beings. Part of this problem arised from the Catholic church’s refusal to accept many of the non-scripturally named angels as existent and thus was forced to delegate the events in the Bible to the three angels who were: Michael, Gabriel and Raphael (who is mentioned in the Catholic apocrypha). Lesser dogmatic
individuals, however, were willing to accept the validity of other non-biblical sources, at least as far as the naming of members of the host.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

MICHAEL

St. Michael the Archangel, "Who is like God?"

St. Michael is one of the principal angels; his name was the war-cry of the good angels in the battle fought in heaven against the enemy and his followers. Four times his name is recorded in Scripture. Christian tradition gives to St. Michael four offices: (1) To fight against Satan, (2) To rescue the souls of the faithful from the power of the enemy, especially at the hour of death, (3) To be the champion of God’s people, the Jews in the Old Law, the Christians in the New Testament; therefore he was the patron of the Church, and of the orders of knights during the Middle Ages, and (4) To call away from earth and bring men’s souls to judgment.

Michael ("Who is as God"): Regardless of which major faith’s angelic beings is being followed, Michael ranks as the highest of the host. He is the leader of the celestial armies and is the angel who fought Satan during the War and enchained the rebel leader. He is considered to be of the class of seraphim, and yet is also head of other ranks within the hierarchy: the ruler of the archangels leader of the virtues, and head of the principalities in his role as protector of

Israel

. Michael is considered to be the angel of the burning bush through which God spoke to Moses, and has also appeared in the book of Daniel, where God states him as being the highest within the angelic ranks. Although other angels have been attributed with the title of Angel of Death, it is Michael who weighs the souls on judgment day, after his battle once more with the forces of evil. He is mentioned
as both an angel of destruction and vengeance in the name of God, but also as a protector and the angel who kept Satan from claiming the body of Moses after the patriarch’s death. By all rights, Michael can be considered foremost among the angels.

This

Archangel

is ‘over the best parts of humanity and over chaos’ His name means Who is like to God. Also known as St. Michael, Archangel Michael is said to be the closest to God and is heaven’s greatest defender and mightiest warrior against evil. His symbol is a fiery sword.

Colour: Red, Associated with the Fire element

Rules over: the Tree of Life Sephirah 6 (Tephirah), The Greek Deity Helios, The Alchemical Metal Gold, and Harmony and Beauty

Twin Flame / Divine Complement / Twin Ray: Faith

Also known as: Lord Michael, Prince of the Archangels,

Archangel

of the First Ray, Defender of the Faith

Historical and Literary References: Michael’s Name means "Who is like God." Angel of Deliverance. Considered by all three of the major monotheistic religions, Judaism, Christianity, and Islam, to be the greatest of all the Angels. Also, Michael and Gabriel are the only two Angels mentioned in the Old Testament by name. According to Jewish writings, Michael was considered to be the "Viceroy of Heaven", which incidentally was a title applied to the great adversary Lucifer before his fall from grace. Michael has been credited as being the angel who stayed the hand of Abraham when he was on the point of sacrificing his son Isaac. According to Louis Ginzberg in The Legends of the Jews, Vol.2, p.303, "the Fire that Moses saw in the burning bush had the appearance of Michael, who had descended from Heaven as the forerunner of the Shekinah." In the Book of Revelation 20:1, it is commonly thought that Michael is the "angel coming down from heaven, having the key of the abyss and a great chain in his hand." He is usually depicted wearing armor or chain mail and an unsheathed Sword, signifying his role as God’s champion. He was described as young, strong and handsome; very huge and militant; eyes looking like pools of fire with firm, chiseled facial features. His skin was described as the "color of copper which radiates and glows from being in the Presence of God".

Divine Quality:   Protection , Faith , Will of God , Power , Omnipotence of God , Perfection

Service to Life: In response to our free will calls and decrees, Archangel Michael protects our consciousness, being, and world. Focuses the Solar Consciousness of the First Ray Uses the Sword of Blue Flame to cut loose and set free from psychic and astral substance, as well as from other malevolent influences, all who make the call and invoke Michael’s assistance. Spiritual gift of freedom from doubt and fear, Strengthening of your faith, Exorcism of demons, Inspiration for leaders, Improvement of government.

Vibration / Ray / Flame: Blue Flame , Blue Lightning Flame of Faith White and Blue Flame Blue Lightning of Cosmic Christ Protection

Angels: Legions of Blue Lightning Angels , Angels of Blue Flame , Angels of the Sword of Blue Flame , Legions of Blue Flame Angels

—————————————-

RAPHAEL

Raphael = “God has healed”

The name of this archangel (Raphael = "God has healed") does not appear in the Hebrew Scriptures, and in the Septuagint only in the Book of Tobias. Here he first appears disguised in human form as the travelling companion of the younger Tobias, calling himself "Azarias the son of the great Ananias". The story of the adventurous journey during which the protective influence of the angel is shown in many ways including the binding "in the desert of upper Egypt" of the demon who had previously slain seven husbands of Sara, daughter of Raguel, is picturesquely related in Tobit 5-11, to which the reader is referred. After the return and the healing of the blindness of the elder Tobias, Azarias makes himself known as "the angel Raphael, one of the seven, who stand before the Lord" (Tob., xii, 15. Cf. Apoc., viii, 2). Of these seven "archangels" which appear in the angelology of post-Exilic Judaism, only three, Gabriel, Michael and Raphael, are mentioned in the canonical Scriptures. The others, according to the Book of Enoch (cf. xxi) are Uriel, Raguel, Sariel, and Jerahmeel, while from other apocryphal sources we get the variant names Izidkiel, Hanael, and Kepharel instead of the last three in the other list.

Regarding the functions attributed to Raphael we have little more than his declaration to Tobias (Tobit 12) that when the latter was occupied in his works of mercy and charity, he (Raphael) offered his prayer to the Lord, that he was sent by the Lord to heal him of his blindness and to deliver Sara, his son’s wife, from the devil. The Jewish category of the archangels is recognized in the New Testament (I Thess., iv, 15; Jude, 9), but only Gabriel and Michael are mentioned by name. Many commentators, however, identify Raphael with the "angel of the Lord" mentioned in John 5. This conjecture is base both on the significance of the name and on the healing role attributed to Raphael in the Book of Tobias. The Church assigns the feast of St. Raphael to 24 October. The hymns of the Office recall the healing power of the archangel and his victory over the demon. The lessons of the first Nocturn and the Antiphons of the entire Office are taken from the Book of Tobias, and the lessons of the second and third Nocturns from the works of St. Augustine, viz. for the second Nocturn a sermon on Tobias (sermon I on the fifteenth Sunday), and for the third, a homily on the opening verse of John, v. The Epistle of the Mass is taken from the twelfth chapter of Tobias, and the Gospel from John 5:1-4, referring to the pool called Probatica, where the multitude of the infirm lay awaiting the moving of the water, for "an angel of the Lord descended at certain times into the pond; and the water was moved.And he that went down first into the pond after the motion of the water was made whole of whatsoever infirmity he lay under". Thus the conjecture of the commentators referred to above is confirmed by the official Liturgy of the Church.

Raphael ("God has healed" or ‘the shining one who heals"): Although a seraph, Raphael is also mentioned as being a member of the cherubim, dominations and powers. He has been attributed as the chief of virtues, although that ranking has also been given to Michael, and also can be considered head of the guardian angels. His most notable appearance in scripture is his guiding of young Tobias in the apocryphal book of Tobit where he teaches the lad about medicine and demon exorcising among other things. Also in his role as healer, it is Raphael who eases the pain of Abraham after his circumcision, and healing Jacob’s thigh after Jacob wrestles with another angel. He is also considered to be a patron of the sciences as well as medicine, teaching Noah how to construct the ark before the flood, and teaching Solomon how to bind demons into slave labor when Solomon’s

Temple

was being built.  Raphael is often depicted carrying a pilgrim’s staff.

This

Archangel

is ‘over the spirits of men’ Also called St. Raphael, this

Archangel

is ‘the Shining One who Heals’. His symbol is the sun. Raphael protects travellers and heals the sick and injured, granted the gift of healing by God. While Raphael is also the angel of Science and Knowledge, he is equally known to be charming and funloving.

Colour: Sky Blue and Gold, Associated with the Air element

Rules over: the day of Wednesday and the Planet Mercury, the Tree of Life Sephirah 8 (Hod - Splendor), The Greek Deity Hermes, The Alchemical Metal Quicksilver, and Reflective Intelligence.

Twin Flame / Divine Complement / Twin Ray: Mary, the Mother of Jesus

Also known as: Lord Raphael, Archangel of Healing,

Archangel

of the Fifth Ray,

Archangel

of Consecration and Dedication.

Historical and Literary References: Raphael’s Name means "God has healed" and "the Medicine of God"., Raphael’s interaction with Tobias is described in the Book of Tobias in the Catholic Bible. The Book of Tobias is omitted from the Protestant Bible.

Service to Life: Healing of body, mind, soul, and spirit. Inspiration for the study and practice of music, mathematics, science, and both traditional and alternative medicine. Meeting of physical needs such as food, clothing, shelter, tools of your trade. Repairing of rifts between nations. Inspiration for new cures for diseases.

Vibration / Ray / Flame: Emerald, Green

Angels: Healing Angels. Angels of Healing, Legions of the Fifth Ray, Legions of Healing, Legions of Emerald-Green Fire, Legions of Emerald-Green Lightning

—————————————-

GABRIEL

St. Gabriel the Archangel, "God is my Strength"

One of the three archangels mentioned in the Bible. Only four appearances of Gabriel are recorded. Thus he is throughout the angel of the Incarnation and of Consolation, and so in Christian tradition Gabriel is ever the angel of mercy while Michael is rather the angel of judgment. At the same time, even in the Bible, Gabriel is, in accordance with his name, the angel of the Power of God, and it is worth while noting the frequency with which such words as "great", "might", "power", and "strength" occur in the passages referred to above. The Jews indeed seem to have dwelt particularly upon this feature in Gabriel’s character, and he is regarded by them as the angel of judgment, while Michael is called the angel of mercy. Thus they attribute to Gabriel the destruction of

Sodom

and of the host of Sennacherib, though they also regard him as the angel who buried Moses, and as the man deputed to mark the figure Tau on the foreheads of the elect (Ezech., 4). In later Jewish literature the names of angels were considered to have a peculiar efficacy, and the

British

 

Museum

possesses some magic bowls inscribed with Hebrew, Aramaic, and Syriac incantations in which the names of Michael, Raphael, and Gabriel occur. These bowls were found at Hillah, the site of

Babylon

, and constitute an interesting relic of the Jewish captivity. In apocryphal Christian literature the same names occur, cf. Enoch, ix, and the Apocalypse of the Blessed Virgin.

As remarked above, Gabriel is mentioned only twice in the New Testament, but it is not unreasonable to suppose with Christian tradition that it is he who appeared to St. Joseph and to the shepherds, and also that it was he who "strengthened" Our Lord in the garden (cf. the Hymn for Lauds on 24 March). Gabriel is generally termed only an archangel, but the expression used by St. Raphael, "I am the angel Raphael, one of the seven, who stand before the Lord" (Tob., xii, 15) and St. Gabriel’s own words, "I am Gabriel, who stand before God" (Luke 1, 19), have led some to think that these angels must belong to the highest rank; but this is generally explained as referring to their rank as the highest of God’s messengers, and not as placing them among the Seraphim and Cherubim (cf. St. Thomas, I, Q. cxii, a.3; III, Q. xxx, a.2, ad 4um).

Often considered as a slightly more benevolent spirit than his ally Michael, the cherubim Gabriel is most often noted as the messenger of the Annunciation where he tells Mary of the impending birth of Christ. Another notable birth that Gabriel presided over was that of John the Baptist when Gabriel came to Zacharias and told him of his coming son. Within all of the legends of birthing, Gabriel as been accredited as the angel who selects souls from heaven to be birthed into the material world and spends the nine months as the child is being developed informing the new person of what he or she will need to know on Earth, only to silence the child before birth by pressing his finger onto the child’s lips, thus producing the cleft below a person’s nose. Besides births however, Gabriel is also the angel who came before Daniel and told him of the future as well as the angel responsible for strengthening Christ prior to the Crucifixion. Finally, not being all pregnancies and wisdom, he is told as the angel who struck down the cities of

Sodom

 and Gommorah as well as other places of sin throughout the Old Testament although he is never named there as such.  Gabriel is described as having 140 pairs of wings, and is the Governor of

Eden

and Ruler of the Cherubim. Gabriel sits at the left hand of God. He is usually shown as a majestic figure, richly attired, sometimes wearing a crown and bearing a scepter. His right hand is usually extended in salutation.

This

Archangel

is ‘over

Paradise

‘ Gabriel sits at the left hand of God, and is the angel of incarnation, of conception and birth and of dreams. Gabriel’s emblem is the lily, symbolizing conception, and it is Gabriel who instructs souls for the nine months before they enter the world.

Colour: sea green, Associated with the Water Element

Rules over: the day of Monday and the Moon, the Tree of Life Sephirah 9 (Yesod), the Greek Deity Selene, The Alchemical Metal Silver, and Patterns of Instinct

Twin Flame / Divine Complement / Twin Ray: Hope

Also known as: Lord Gabriel, Angel of the Annunciation, Angel of Resurrection

Historical and Literary References: Gabriel’s Name means "Hero of God." Angel of Revelation and Chief Ambassador to humanity. Apart from Michael, Gabriel is the only other Angel mentioned by Name in the Old Testament. He was said to sit on the left hand side of God. In many religious, writings Gabriel has appeared as a messenger and deliverer to humanity of blessed events. Mohammed claimed that it was Gabriel (Gibril in Islamic) who dictated to him the Koran. In Christian beliefs, Gabriel was the Angel who appeared to Mary to inform her that she would conceive and give birth to Jesus. In addition, Gabriel also appeared before Zacharias to announce that his son will be called John (the Baptist).

Service to Life: Guidance in your spiritual life, Revelation of your life plan and purpose, Release Joy, Happiness, and Fulfillment, Dissolution of discouragement, Help establish Discipline and Order in your life

Vibration / Ray / Flame: Purity, White, Mother-of-Pearl,

Angels: Angels of Guidance, Legions of the Fourth Ray, Legions of Purity, Legions of White Fire, Legions of White Lighting.

———————————–

URIEL (AURIEL)

Uriel = "Fire of God"

Archangel Uriel rules Ministration and Peace. His name is interpreted variously as, "God is My Light"; "God is Light"; "Radiation of God"; "God is the Radiating Principle of Light", and, "Fire of God." Uriel stands with a fiery sword at the Gate of the Lost Eden. His symbol is an open hand holding a flame, which he offers as the Flame of Love towards all souls. In the Book of Enoch Uriel was called the Angel who "watches over thunder and terror" (Enoch 1).Identified as both a seraph and a cherub, Uriel is most well known for his role as Regent of the Sun in the book of Revelation where he calls forth the birds of the air to feast upon the fallen. As one of the most faithful and dedicated members of the host, Uriel was also placed in charge of Tartarus (another name for Hades), warned Noah of the impending flood (although Raphael is credited with teaching the building of the ark), and attacked Moses for failing to circumcise his son. Accepted as an archangel by the Church for many centuries, he was finally removed from the records in 745 CE as the Church became increasingly concerned with the prominence the public was placing upon angels.

In Babylonian scholarship, it was the extraterrestrial God EA/Enki (An Anunnaki) who warned Noah (Uta-Napishtim) of the impending flood. Uta-Napishtim was the son of Ubar-Tutu.

This

Archangel

is ‘over the world’. Archangel Uriel’s name means Fire of God, and he is known as The Angel of Repentance. His Christian symbol is am open hand holding a flame.

Colour: White, Gold, Earth tones, Associated with the Earth element

Also known as: Lord Uriel, Archangel of Ministration,

Archangel

of the Sixth Ray, Angel of Ministration

Service to Life: In Christian tradition, Uriel is also the Angel of Music, The Angel of Poetry and the Angel of Prophecy. Uriel also assists in communicating with nature, and can be called on to assist with material and earthly matters.

Divine Quality: Peace, Ministration, Service

Vibration / Ray / Flame: Purple and Gold, Ruby, Ruby and Gold

Angels: Legions of Purple and Gold Lightning Angels, Angels of Purple and Gold, Legions of the Ruby Ray, Angels of Ruby and Gold

 

Presenting our and our fifth’s first.

Huh? Come again?

Our fifth’s first. First ultrasound shot of our fifth baby, at 12 weeks. Gender not yet identifiable, but the head is formed already, limbs, and torso. Heartbeat can also be “seen”…. (see the head and the torso? there at the "grey-er" area of the foto…)

Our first. Yes. Elson and I saw our unborn for the first time. Never had ultrasound in my first four pregnancies. With Faye, I religiously had my monthly pre-natal check-up (being the first pregnancy), but my OB never told me to undergo ultrasound. With Miguel, Chino and Abby, I only went to my OB on my 1^st and 9^th month of pregnancy… I delivered before my scheduled ultrasound appointment!!… J

I have to be a little bit more careful this time. Because my asthma attacks are more frequent and more intense lately. I had to check from my pulmonologist and OB my medications and precautions. Seeing Dra. Rowena Sese for the first time at 11 weeks on the way, she told me that the baby’s heartbeat can be heard. Oh well, I was soooo hungry at that time that it was hard for her to listen to my baby’s heartbeat because my tummy’s grumbling literally!… So she suggested that I go back for an ultrasound… I think she could check on the baby better through the ultrasound, me ultra-hungry or not!!

So this first time was free, and she printed only one shot for us. The baby was “malikot”, as if swimming his heart out in that sac of amniotic fluid… grabe, may “tao” sa loob… ayaw ko nang matapos yung session. My next ultrasound is after 7 weeks yet… excited na ako. My OB said we get to see the baby’s gender, fingers, toes…. and maybe the facial features … at any rate, gusto ko lang makita ‘yung may baby sa loob. Some things you don’t see everyday.

Fifth?… yes. But it’s still our first.

“There’s no such thing as a small miracle.”

The past few months have been very busy for me. Not just with work. Health issues: I’m on my first trimester of my (ehem!) fifth pregnancy, my asthma attacks frequently, my son was confined for dengue more than a month ago… school stuffs of the kids: second quarter ends… errands: one of the helpers at home left (hmph!). And no time for blogging. No reason, however, not to be aware of what’s happening around.  And it’s nothing getting any better.

There are only two kinds of people right now: those who are driven by their principles… and those that are driven by their ambition.

How far you are willing to go determines what drives you, I guess.

Ambition = where you want to go; principle = what you want to be.

Ambition = how high you have reached; principle = how many you have influenced

Ambition = time-bound; principle = way of life.

Ambition = innovation and creativity; principle = back to basics.

Ambition = end justifies the means; principle = clear line between right and wrong.

Ambition = results are measurable; principle = effects are intangible.

Ambition = buys and sells principles; principle = gives up ambition

Ambition = power, authority, control; principle = leadership, influence, teamwork

Ambition = people believe in what you say; principle = people believe the things you do.

Ambition = insatiable because the possibilities are endless; principle = as long as unviolated, it makes you sleep well at night.

Ambition = papatay ka makuha mo lang; principle = magpapakamatay ka wag lang nilang makuha sa ‘yo.

Which one are you??

I’m getting old; it’s showing physically bweheheheh!!! . I would like to live the rest of my life in a Philippines being guided by a principled ambition… than an ambitious principle.

She will never resign.

The impeachment is dead. Well, at least within one year.

What next?… OUST?

haaay… kakapagod na… kakasawa na… pero mas di yata katanggap-tanggap ‘yung ginagago ka.

CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS EULOGIO MAGSAYSAY???!!!!

Whew, grabe.

Creepy though. Signs of things to come.

FYI: He went out to the media to expose that some of his colleagues were bribing him and that he was receiving calls and textxs not to sign the impeachment complaint. But he signed nonetheless. Now he is withdrawing his endorsement. His alibi? he wasn’t able to actually read the complaint and he was just "talked" by an opposition congressman to sign it. Now he is withdrawing because this is what he considers a "principled" move". At the background, you see JdV applauding "Magsaysay is my guy"… Horrible!)

How F***** STUPID can you get????

Oh well. ‘La lang… wonder how the late President thinks. The "halatang obvious" Magsaysay is the late President’s nephew, by the way.

Makes you sing: "How much is that doggie in the window?…"

I haven’t posted anything on my blog for a long time now. Simply because I don’t have anything else to say than government, movies, music, my family and kids and food.

So I’ll just share something with you. Sabi nga ni Elson, sobra ko naman daw passionate in sharing my thoughts, ‘kala nya umiiyak na ko bwehehehe!!… kaya bear with this: this will be loooooong…

We were on our way to Pasig to a friend’s house last Tuesday night. We spent about two hours from the Port Area to Greenwoods in Pasig going around in circles kakaiwas sa traffic. He listens to AM radio everytime he drives at night so that time, we were tuned in to DZMM, i think. In the news was that a 6-month old fetus was found buried in a sandy spot in i-forgot-the-place. Then the report further said that there are about 400,000 abortions in the Philippines per year. (Courtesy of Mec: the WHO puts it at about 800,000 per year).

Putek. Alarming.

I have always been a staunch advocate of natural family planning. Well, since I’ve been "blessed" with a regular "period" pattern, and that marunong naman daw ako "magbilang", there’s no reason for me to use artificial means of contraception. This has always been my conviction. Ironic though, all my kids were unplanned =)…

At any rate, whatever method you use, pero pag nabuntis ka pa rin, that’s not your doing anymore. It’s God will. It’s His time.

Responsible parenthood. Artificial contraception. Abortion.

Iko-connect ko lang. Pero personal analysis ko lang ‘to ha =)

I agree with Responsible Parenthood in the parameters of its literal meaning. "responsible parenthood": no more, no less. To qualify: you have to be a parent and that you’ve got to have a sense of reponsibility. So what is being responsible, to start with?

Sabi sa Merriam-Webster:

Main Entry: re·spon·si·ble
Function: adjective
1 a : liable to be called on to answer b (1) : liable to be called to account as the primary cause, motive, or agent <a committee responsible for the job> (2) : being the cause or explanation <mechanical defects were responsible for the accident> c : liable to legal review or in case of fault to penalties
2 a : able to answer for one’s conduct and obligations : TRUSTWORTHY b : able to choose for oneself between right and wrong
3 : marked by or involving responsibility or accountability <responsible financial policies> <a responsible job>
4 : politically answerable; especially : required to submit to the electorate if defeated by the legislature — used especially of the British cabinet

The rootword is response. ibig sabihin merong action. Or may expectation from an already existing circumstance.

Sa term na "responsible parenthood"… the circumstance is "parenthood". Such that if you are a parent already (with a spouse or wala), you have to be responsible.

Let’s leave that premise hanging first. We’ll go back to it later.

Artificial contraception. Self-explanatory.

Our government’s campaign for responsible parenthood is focusing on family planning. Not bad. You’ve got to have a plan for your family, and be able to identify whether you have the capacity and capability to provide them their basic needs. Kung hindi mo kaya, wag kang mag-anak nang marami or wag ka MUNA mag-anak or wag kang mag-anak at all. =) Kung wala ka pang asawa, the same principle applies: basta kung hindi ka pa handang magkaroon ng anak, e di wag kang mag-anak. Simple di ba.

Andun ba yung concept ng responsible parenthood? Yes, so far.

SO the next thing they will teach you is the moment you realized "ay, hindi ko pa kakayanin magkaroon ng anak", what shall you do? Abstain syempre. Or use a birth control method that is according to your belief daw. Dalawa lang yan: natural or artificial.

My officemate here attended a symposium i think on responsible parenthood at the Manila Hotel. I think they are encouraging the corporate environment to promote responsible parenthood in the workplace. When she came back, she has this presentation material (like a big desk calendar) about the different methods of birth control. Maganda yung material, very informative. May pictures pa =)…

What’s my point?… That’s where the campaign on responsible parenthood is given weight: birth control. With preference to artificial means. Syempre. It’s there in the material: one of the disadvantages of natural methods is that it’s very unreliable. While condoms daw, may pills, may injection pa, 99.9% sure daw. Kita mo naman a!

Okay. fine. siguro kung "irregular" ako, papatulan ko din yang artificial means na yan hehehe!!…

99.9% lang. Syempre they still have margin for errors. They could get sued if they advetised their products to be 100%, yet someone got pregnant inspite of using their product. Anyways, note lang: personally, the other 0.1% is, i believe, God’s will, not an error.

So what are the options available for you in the event you got pregnant? This is where the campaign does not dwell on that much. Probably because if they present options like these, chances are, people won’t get really apprehensive on having kids without thinking and thinking and thinking it over. May options naman e.

They bombard people with scenarios like wala kang ipapakain…  pano mo yan palalakihin… ano na lang ang sasabihin ng magulang at mga kamang-anak mo?… matatanggal ka nyan sa trabaho… san ka kukuha ng pera na ipapakain mo dyan?…

While these circumstances are real, how you react or how you respond contributes about 99% of what will happen to you in the future.

Sadly, society echoes. But excluding the courses of action that you may take.

Hanggang dun lang sa mga consequences na ikakatakot mo, ikahihiya mo, ikakagalit mo, ipagtatago mo… so finally, magpapa-abort ka na lang.

Abortion. Self-explanatory.

LOST HOPE. yan ang title ng blog entry ko today. Yan ang pino-provide nilang resulta pag nabuntis ka nang wala sa panahon, wala sa oras, wala kang asawa, wala ka pang pera. That’s also what your parents, friends, relatives get. Kesyo mapapahiya sila, kesyo dagdag responsibilidad.

Oh well, yan ang tinatawag nilang responsible parenthood. Wag kang mag-anak: hindi mo kakayanin ang reponsibilidad. Pero pag nabuntis, ano?… hmmm, a, e…

Na-connect ko ba? anlabo pa rin yata.

In Erma Bombeck’s book "Motherhood: The Second Oldest Profession", i’ve read there the number of couples wishing to adopt a child is almost equal to the number of those being regarded as "unwanted" and eventually aborted babies. Effectively, there is no such thing as "UNWANTED".

Time is changing. And i have kids. I dunno how life will treat them and how they will treat life when it’s their turn to face each other. I just always pray that whatever happens, they will realize that hope is never lost. And that they do not resort to doing things which will make them lose their soul.